Yes, this american drama TV show was Jessica Biel stardom started. hehe Kidding. Anyway, I just finished my everyday ritual. What’s in store for me from God. I just read about the gospel of sacrifices like what Jesus said, sorry I’m not into memorizing verses, it’s about sacrifices and persecution. Despite sacrifices and tribulations, believe Jesus will do something better in your life while having a relationship with Him.
Para sa akin, that’s true. I always look back every May of every year. What’s surprising eh nagkita lang kami ni Rheg last month and of course, he faith grown exponentially especially yun mga nangyari sa kanya. Good thing, he is guided by God in NZ right now. As for me, despite last year na di ako masyado nag attend ng the Feast plus di na ko nag LG because of some things I need to do plus what I feel as well, eh yes, I have my two hands full now. All wish now nga is to reduce my workload and yes, Peace. My life is not going to be simple anyway as I want to hope for.
Anyway, until now I haven’t been sa Love Life retreat. hahaha I think that’s the only target I can do this year and siyempre KCON. What’s surprising though was I visited one of their ministries which I did not expect to really visit but I just came desperate. After that meeting, I’ll be back. hahaha When it comes to the Feast itself, ah, it became shorter but dynamic as I can say. Kung baga sakto lang sa time limit di kagaya dati na mahaba nga pero minsan kakadrag. But now, it’s shorter but solemn na at ayun dynamic. Some surprises pa kaya mabuti nagiimprove sila. I just hope may 9am sched sa PICC. MOA is just too far. Ok lang naman yun 10:30am pero minsan ang hirap magcommute papunta for that time.
Speaking of venues, yeah I thought of switching venues due to some errands pero I think I’m comfortable now at the 8am session. Parang kinaggisnan ko na talaga siya. If I had it in my way, definitely I’ll go to QC feast, malapit na, Trinoma pa. hahaha Kaso baka mapagastos pa lalo ako nun. hehe Nah, I’ll stay put here. Never say never..
I was surprised for the overwhelming challenges I had for the past 2 years, and still ongoing pero I can say because of this community, the positive vibe, the simplified but holistic teachings/talks and variety of things you can do, simply inspires me to do better. Kahit nagkakasala pa din ako lagi or fail, I never doubt that Jesus will leave me like this. It came to a point that I realized, some hurdles come to a choice. Some things really need to change and some, you really need to keep moving. Sabi nga nung Pari nakausap ko last Sunday, keep pushing, move on.
I admit, I really don’t have time for myself anymore and that reality struck me this year especially when you look to other people or friends and when they starting to ask me about myself or such.. It’s a pain to accept such hard facts o kung baga eto ako ngayon, nag iisa at maraming pinoproblema kahit nakalimutan ko na problema ko. Hindi na din ako masaya at ayun pa, medyo may masakit na sa akin ha. hehe Kaya nung nag Clark ako, panay tanong ako sa sarili ko, kailan kaya ako makakabasyon na mas matagal sa isang araw. hahaha Kahit staycation masaya na ko di ba. See, that’s how tired I am.
Kahit ganun ang aking nararamdaman at pinagdadaanan eh di pa ko tumitigil magdasal, manampalataya, gawin yun nararapat para naman ako sumaya at makalaya at higit sa lahat, magmahal. Kahit sarili ko lang, sigurado ako, mapapawi ang pagod at sakit.
Kaya this year, parang simula ako ulit sa The Feast, trying to attend more Sunday sessions more, saka follow at least the messages they say. Do more than what I usually do, and yes, I’ll be back to the meeting I did like months ago. Plus, I’ll do my best makapunta sa LG meeting. I miss LG. Pero nagpapasalamat ako kahit di na ko nakakapunta eh they are doing intercessory for me at kahit minsan nakakalimutan ko magpasalamat eh I feel their prayers naman. =)
Of course, Jesus, I really thank you for giving me this place that always give me clues, answers or signs (kahit sa huli na yun signs.hehe ). To know that you always love me first and give me hope is enough me to stay what I am now despite such situations. I love you always and yeah, please don’t just meet me soon ok? hehe At least, I found a place that even for 2 hours, I feel, I’m in..