Eye of the Beholder

As I gaze outside the window, I feel more dazed. Asking myself, why I’m doing this. Why I’m seating here in a jam packed bus, waiting for 8 to 9 hours to get into my destination.

Then thoughts kept coming in my mind.. Mindlessly, uninspiring, and most of all.. Bleak ones. I don’t know what to do.. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what to think. Well, I have a stackful of chairs beside me. Great thing I have no one beside me as I’m so dragged into this.

It’s 10pm and the look outside my window was very dark. The only thing I can see was the light from the expressway stop. But after that, it’s endless darkness.. The driver seems to be in a hurry, but driving smoothly. Despite the jam packed atmosphere, such as besides my bus seat, there was a bicycle frame at the aisle. Then a LED TV box plus other boxes for let’s say souvenirs/packages.. The crowd seems to be quiet, except for the babies or kids who where crying or wants food. My inner peace was disturbed but what else I’m going to do?

I tried to sleep so many times, I can’t even close my eyes for a moment.. I tried to count sheep but all I can see was the aircon compartment on top of me. Plus of course the orange curtain in front of me. It’s a tight situation that I hope, I’ll just resting for a while. I used to remember, my first trip was kinda dizzy. I always forgot to eat something before I have my long trip. But now, I’m learned, I don’t even have to worry bringing a gatorade with me to avoid being dizzy in the trip.

The flashing road lights, the blinking headlights from other vehicles, the dark atmosphere outside, it’s pretty scary. But good thing, this trip comes fast. That’s why I prefer travelling at night because at the morning, it’s like a field trip. It’s slow and boring. At night, despite the situation, it’s fast and convenient.
After the one and only bus stop, I stretched and went to the CR, went back to my seat and at last I slept. When I woke up, just around 1 hour later, I reached this destination. Cold, alone, and heavy..

When I saw my room, I just fell down and checked something. I slept and at last, closed my eyes..

Those thoughts? They seem bothering me…

Until now.


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